cuckoo

Ah, isn't that what life should be all about? The freedom to choose? It's supposed to make our lives better, the endless list of options that we can "customize" according to our preferences. But hasn't this given us more problems and caused us more stress rather than making us happy? How many times have you wished that you didn't have to go through that agonizing task of making a choice? I have. Many, many times.

I consider myself lucky that I was born in the 80's and was given a small-town, semi-conservative upbringing just right before the technology boom that has dramatically improved and fucked up our lives at the same time. When I was younger, most of the time, I was only left with 2 choices: do or don't. Whatever it was that I decided to choose, I had to own up to, and the consequences, I had to deal with. If you can't finish you lunch, you can't have dessert. If you refuse to do your homework, you can't watch TV. If you fail your math subject, you find a way to raise money to pay for your summer class tuition. The list goes on. It was pretty simple back then. And it was only recently that I realized that I actually like things that way: seeing things in black and white and making little room for gray areas.

As I have grown older (though not necessarily wiser), I can't help but notice and be saddened by how times have changed us and our values. The so-called "endless possibilities" our advanced world has to offer seem to be doing us more harm than good. We seem to be more impaired rather than empowered. We have become indecisive. We are no longer willing to take risks because we know that there can always be a workaround: Why skip coffee when you can have a decaf? Why spend so much money on an authentic Prada when you can have a Class A knockoff? (which gives you more money to spend on more knockoff pieces) Why commit in a relationship when you can be fuck buddies and reap the benefits of regular sex without the hassle of emotional involvement? Why marry when you can simply just move in and spare yourself the trouble of a messy divorce or annulment when things don't work out? Why choose a side when you can be a centrist?

Is this really what we have become? A bunch of smartphone carrying, decaf sipping, fat free dessert splurging, open relationship holding netizens? If so, that doesn't make us people. We have become more like headless chickens running around in a cluttered open yard. Tragic, isn't it?

After an almost 2 year hiatus, I'm back. And I hope I can sustain this. Just a few status updates, in case anyone's interested. I doubt if anyone's even reading this.

• I'm temporarily back home in Iloilo for Graduate School. Thankful to still be part of the program. 2 more semesters and one grueling comprehensive exam to go and I'm a free lady.

• I teach in an English Academy to fend for my studies. I am, surprisingly, enjoying it.

• I am raising an adorable, black puppy named Bach (breed undertermined)

• I badly need a new hairbrush

That's it for now. Had a nice, long walk this afternoon after having fishballs at Molo Plaza. Decided to 'reactivate' this blog after encouraging my Japanese student to start an English blog after he finishes his English course here in the Philippines. Failed attempt at being a good example if he notices that my last entry was a year and 8 months ago.

Gah. Til next. I'm nodding off. Cheers ya all!

I just realized that it's already 2010 and my last entry was way back October of 2009. So I guess I should force myself to post something....err....hmm....sigh. Nothing's coming out. :P

Anyway, okay, here are some totally useless brainfarts. This year is staring off really well for me (I'd like to think that way). I'll be moving back home soon for graduate school. Looking forward to it though I'm still a little apprehensive since I have been away from home and living on my own for almost 6 years already. It'll definitely take some time for me to readjust. But everything's all set, I'll just have to deal with it when the time comes and I am quite confident that things will work out on its own (that sorta didn't make sense).

Anyway, my cluttered mind is probably a result of me being all happy and giddy lately. :P It's been a while, a very long while since I last felt like this. Warm and fuzzy inside. Being caught wearing silly grins. Blushing when teased. Hee hee hee. Ok, maybe I should stop acting like a stupid, lovesick, Miley Cyrus-loving tween because hello, world, I'm turning 30 in less than 24 hours.

There. That was all I needed to help put things in the right perspective. He. He. He.

Happy 2010, everyone.

Among my relatives and friends, I'm probably the last person they would expect to blow money on gadgets and electronics. My last entry was about having a hard time giving up my old phone, and I also wrote about my aversion to a lot of things associated with the living age technology.

So anyway, don't shoot me because this month's salary was spent on a new cellphone(a Sony Ericsson w350) and a laptop(an MSI CR400). I had to get the phone, and I needed to invest on a laptop too since I'll be starting grad school next year and sharing a desktop with my brother doesn't seem like a good idea. I'm not being superficial hokay? I did point out the convenience these things offer! :p

Lappy's name is Clara and I have yet do decide on cellphone's name and gender. Clara was pretty last minute since my friends, Sac and Ivy (who helped a lot in my decision making in terms of specs, and all the technical stuff I still haven't figured out til now) asked, well, kinda pressured me to give the lappy a name. And Clara was at the top of my head.

Almost a month after the great splurge, I still don't regret my decision on acquiring those little black monsters. Well, there SHOULDN'T be any room for regret, considering the amount of money I spent. Seriously though, they were all great buys.

Tech support friends, I hope you guys are on call, 24/7.

I will have to say goodbye to my trusted Nokia 3100 real soon. Before it actually dies on me (although I can already feel its heartbeat slowing down).

After almost 7 years of service and undying loyalty not just to me, but to the others whom I've loaned him (yes, he's a he) to, I think it's about time I upgrade (see previous entry on my aversion to gadgets). And I have to admit to being such a sentimental fool by refusing to part with him for a lot of personal reasons. If this phone could talk, he would have a lot of stories to tell you.

Sigh. I'm still not getting a pricey phone for a replacement. And I'm trying Sony Ericsson this time. Not only are their units reasonably priced, they have pretty ok features and I was told that they're very durable. We'll see, then.

I don't want to say that I've totally given up writing. That would make me sound so defeated. I'm just resolved to not pushing the issue. Since the year started, I've been too hard on myself for not living up to my own expectations of how good a writer I should be. If nothing's coming out, then to hell with it. Let there be nothing.

I've just recently started painting again after 10 long years. My personal assessment of my work so far can be summed up in a word: elementary. But I'm still pleased, though. At least I can say that my does not look like a pre school art project. I'll probably post some of them once I have access to a scanner.

God, I feel so deprived here. I can't wait to move back home and work on my so called long term plan (if you consider 2 years of graduate school long term.haha)

• Sigh*

I'm just babbling.

(Unpaid Overtime)

I'm typing this while I am listening to a 27 minute call. Confident that my evaluation will still pass a possible audit for accuracy. :P Restless and bored. Contemplating on drinking a cup of coffee that has been sitting on my desk since yesterday afternoon. Munching on green peas and salted peanuts. Sigh with a smile.

I'm not supposed to be working on a Saturday but I am because I was tempted enough to leave work early last night to have dinner with my cousin (plus neice and nephew) and catch the last full show for XMen. The movie was not that spectacular but still worth going back to work on a Saturday for. Besides, I still have to be in the Makati area today for a long list of errands so it's not such a big deal to finish some work first.

I dared to enter our office wearing shorts, flip flops, and a button down sleeveless shirt (an act of total defiance of our company's dress code). I already prepared my speech in case security will block my entrance - "I'm not getting paid to be here today, so I can wear whatever I want." Well, I didn't end up using that line since I got through without questions.

Evals, evals, evals. Listening to The Zombies in between. Making mental notes of the things I should be doing today:

1. Buy GMAT reviewer
2. Buy Lean's headphones
3. Buy Paolo's cellphone case
4. Claim CDs from MusicOne (finally decided on what to get!)
5. Have digiphotos downloaded and transferred to a CD
6. Buy Rafa's christening gift
7. Grocery shopping (yay!)

I'm cramming all errands in one day so I can devote tomorrow to couch and mouse potato duties.

I'm not trying to make a point here. Just passing time. And I have to cut this short right now because I have to rush to Cebu Pacific's office to get my tickets before they close.

Just the other day, I got curious enough to ask some friends what 'LMAO' and 'ROTFL' means. I know, I know, its sooo 1990's. I was never really a mouse potato and I know these abbreviations were a great hit back then during the heyday of instant messaging. I don't think I'll ever use it in chat conversations. I'm more accustomed to a laughing emoticon or typing in "hahahaha" when I find something funny, "HAHAHHAHAH" if it's really funny.

Although we live in the new age of technology, I am still a tech illiterate. I am fully aware of the convenience and efficiency that gadgets, programs, and all these technological and scientific breakthroughs offer, but I still prefer to do things the traditional way. I'm not being resistant, and I know I can learn if I really want to, I just don't feel the need for it for now.

I text and type in YM conversations using complete words and sentences. I still prefer writing on paper over typing texts. I find it hard to focus when reading online material, but a good paperback will keep me in place for hours. I do appreciate digital art but I am more fascinated with paintings on canvas. I don't have a choice but to rely on email for instant communication but I am more excited when I receive something through snail mail. I own a Nokia 3100 and I don't have plans of getting a more advanced phone unit. I had a Barbie obsession as a kid, but nowadays, it simply saddens me to see MyScene and Bratz dolls looking like freaks with their dark eyeshadow and collagen induced pouts. I am deeply bothered by blue M&M's. Even candy can't stay old school.

I don't know what the implications of these sentiments are. Really. I just wanted to share it, that's all. Maybe some of you can relate?

No wonder Darlene was insisting that I take a few minutes off my time from work to read her latest blog entry.

This is what she had to say:

Tuesday, April 07, 2009
intimidating Tessa

Kailangang magsulat dahil babasahin ni Tessa ang blog ko.
Kailangan pa-deep kasi ang deep deep ng blog nya.
Ang sarap ng chickenjoy! Wow!
(kaka-kaka)
"thats a cockatoo tita darlene.. not a chicken" - paolo
"no thats a joyful chicken.. kaya nga chicken joy" - darlene
rofl - tessa (ms. epanemah crossed her mind)

I've decided to write about her blog. let me describe it to you. it has a black background. white font. 8. arial. guessing. bored. with pictures. bored. 2 columns. bored. and it is named cuckoo.

Cuckoo - a common European bird, Cuculus canorus, of the family Cuculidae, noted for its characteristic call and its brood parasitism; slang- a crazy, silly, or foolish person; simpleton.

Thats what i love about her. I get to utilize our internet and enhance my online research skills. Ergo i get to type faster.

I have to take a bath now. Then drink bonakid. Cant wait to hear from Tessa after she wasted her time reading this.

Remember, in order to think deep you must have a deep shit hole. But don't shit in it because its not your backyard. - Lenlen (her essay on thinking)

A huge serving of mockery sprinkled with affection. So fucking hilarious. So very Darlene.

Read her blog : http://summersky.blogdrive.com/

Just got back from a Holy Week trip to Coron Island in Palawan.

This time, I made sure I brought my journal, hoping this trip will unblock my longest running writer's block. Oh well, still nothing came up. My brain got fried under the sun. Hence, all I managed to write was a series of brainfarts.

Since I scrapped writing, I tried to compensate for my lack of 'bloggable' or 'journal worthy' thoughts by planning to take lots of pictures instead (another good excuse would be claiming that the place was really beautiful, too beautiful for words). My plan B would have worked if I remembered to charge my camera's batteries before we left for the islands.

I was pathetic. I can't swim. Snorkeling was a major activity so I had to rely on my lifevest and I had to stay within reach of the bangka so I won't drift away into the open sea. Good thing one of our travel buddies was nice enough to offer his foot (I held on to his foot as he swam around to explore the corals and the shipwrecks). We got discounts on some island entrance fees because I was tiny enough to be considered a child.

Hmm...what else? I couldn't think of more proof of my loser status. I will edit this entry as soon as I can think of something more to add.

But I did have fun. I managed to get an almost decent tan. The food, although a little too pricey for a small town, was good. Most of the people we dealt with were very nice and accommodating (except for the butt faced tricycle driver who attempted to charge us double of our agreed rate after we made him wait for a few minutes for a quick food stop).

And now I'm back in the jungle. It'll take me a good week or so to get rid of this nasty vacation hangover.